Mention of S T Coleridge reminded me of my Favourite Football Joke Ever. Two fans of struggling clubs from the lower divisions are comparing the deficiencies of the teams they support.
“We call our goalkeeper ‘The Ancient Mariner'”, says one. “What, he used to be a sailor?” “No, not as far as I know.” “Why, then?” “Because he stoppeth one of three.”
Broke'n'English 